Psychology Today Blindspotting Blog — Leaders Can Change Their Blindspots: It Starts With Behavior
When researchers ask people whether they've changed over the past decade, most say they've changed a great deal. But when the same researchers ask their family and friends, those close to them report seeing little or no change. In my latest Psychology Today post, I dig into that gap between how we see ourselves and how others see us—and what it reveals about where real change is actually possible.
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You don't have to change who you are. You can change how you show up.
Our personalities are largely stable by adulthood, so trying to become a fundamentally different person is a losing game. But personality doesn't dictate behavior. An introvert can train themselves to speak up; someone who moves fast can learn to pause; a natural take-charge leader can learn to ask questions before offering an opinion. That's why behavior is both one of our biggest sources of blindspots and one of our biggest opportunities for change.
In my coaching practice, the goal is never to remake a leader—it's to help them recognize a single response that's getting in their way and replace it with a more effective one. That starts with awareness: identifying the pattern, understanding its trigger, and defining the new behavior in concrete, observable terms. Not "be less arrogant," but "ask two questions before offering your opinion." Small behavioral shifts, practiced with intention and accountability, can have an outsized impact—because when you change how you show up, you change your impact on everyone around you.
